A 30-year journey

Thirty years ago I was several things: MUCH younger, single, working at a job I hated, living alone in an apartment I could barely afford (no, make that couldn't afford) and lonely for a soul-mate: someone who could love me the way I was, someone I didn't have to pretend with and someone who would love me no matter what life threw at us.

Tomorrow is my 30th wedding anniversary to the person who fulfills all the things I wanted in a relationship, RW. We've had our challenges along the way, of course we have. Those of you who believe a perfect marriage doesn't include fighting, arguing or times where you want to just say "fuck this" are deluding yourselves. But we've also had some of the most sublime moments life can offer: the birth of two beautiful daughters; moments spent quietly together without a word being spoken, moments where love was communicated nevertheless; times where we shared grief and times where we shared laughter.

This man has seen me through pregnancies where I came close to looking like the model for "Free Willy" and still found something sexy about me. Who says love isn't blind? He stood by me when I had my mid-life crisis and went back to school, a 4 1/2 year project that required him to take over the role of children's tutor, chauffeur, child psychologist, housekeeper, creative financial genius and laundress. He was there while we mourned the loss of his mother, my mother, numerous close relatives and my step-father. He has been there during the wonderful, brief childhood years, the taxing and, at time, traumatic teenage years and most recently, the adult years of our daughters. He sat beside me as we watched our oldest daughter marry the father of our beloved granddaughter and he will be with me this year when we watch the "baby" make her vows.

While I imagined these life events years ago I never could have imagined how much richer they would be for sharing them with someone who became not just my other half, but my better half. Truly, after thirty years, the part of me that is him is more than just the part of me that is me. He has shaped my past, is my present and I can count on him being there for me in the future.

Happy Anniversary, sweetheart. I know I don't say the words often enough, but I love you so much. You've made my life everything I hoped for and sometimes didn't even know I needed.

PS: Take a look at the picture above. This is what RW gave me for our anniversary. I know you can't put a value on love, but he did a pretty good job, don't you think?